The Perfect Mix
As friends, we don't always agree, but that is what can make Monday Lunch interesting. Take the discussion that emerged one day about inviting others into our comfortably established fold. It was a tough one. We did not want to be exclusive in our weekly lunching habits, but we started to feel like our little threesome was akin to a dessert already in progress: altering the chemistry could spell disaster (or at least result in a messy oven).
Ultimately, our discussion revealed a friendship divide that continues to highlight our lunch landscape even today. Indeed, one of us really is a "more the merrier" type while two of us have a penchant towards a "less the lovelier" philosophy.
It turns out our more the merrier friends truly enjoy a gaggle of guests for their unique qualities, differing personalities and interesting contributions. It charges them up to be around such energy!
It is also true that those less the lovelier folks are not necessarily exclusive or shy but just in need of a little advance notice. Sometimes the energy of a crowd can be draining when they are not prepared or are in a quiet mood.
Our Monday Lunch compromise works like a charm. Our weekly Monday Lunch remains the three of us; a triad that allows for deep, meaningful discussions in a safe environment. We also have more the merrier gatherings when the occasions arise. Our flexibility and respect of differing social preferences allows for a peaceful ebb and flow of intimacy and inclusion.
The degree of exclusivity and/or inclusivity is ultimately an innate personal preference on the social spectrum. Stages of child rearing, number of children, degree of family stress, and life events all contribute to our current position on that social scale. Most of us will take a night out with friends or a raging party over staying home again with our young children - even if we are of the "lighter" fare. Get me out of the house? Hey, the more the merrier! And sometimes we all need that quiet escape with a book, a craft or a hot cup of tea to make it through the afternoon. Ah, the less the lovelier.
Here's to hoping that understanding our friends' preferences leads us to express ourselves more honestly, respect one another more thoughtfully, and enjoy the ebb and flow of friendship which, like a great recipe, can yield the PERFECT MIX!
Light and Peace,
The Busy Buddha
Talk back to the Trio
What tips do you have for getting along with someone on the opposite end of the social spectrum?